Advise on how to get over a relationship

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Getting over a relationship is hard especially when you have that gut wrenching feeling, when your heart hurts, when your stomach is sick and every part of you says don’t let go.  But when your told I don’t want to be with you anymore, and you feel helpless what should you do?

Here’s the bottom line.

  1.  Don’t beg, trust me begging doesn’t work and empowers the other even more over you.  Trust me, agree with them, tell them their right, you have been thinking the same thing, and stay calm.  If the one breaking up with you, starts to change their minds, which could happen because once you show them you’re stronger then them and can very easily move on, they may just want you back that fast.  Don’t give in, this is still giving the power back to them, and most likely will not work in the end.  If you really want them back, and want it to work give the relationship a break even if it’s for a few days to let them get their heads back on straight, or even longer they might see what they lost.  Ignore their texts, their phone calls, and move on, who knows, maybe that feeling you’re having may just not be so intense, you may just have some fun, and move on.  If not, at least you’re training yourself to live for yourself, and not the one who is hurting you.
  2.   Go out, do things, keep busy, don’t let him/her creep back in your head.  When they do force yourself to get out of your own way, go for a walk, go out with your friends, make new friends, new friends will make you feel more independent then ever before, its like starting a whole new life without having the ex in your head.  Just don’t forget those new friends if you make up.  They are now your friends.
  3.   Dance, dancing is one way to feel free, even if you don’t dance because you feel like you look funny, or it’s not your thing, dancing is great exercise and can free your mind, the key is feel the music in your very soul.  Music is a great healer, just stay away from the music you listened to with your ex, that may bring back to many memories and sadness.  Believe me eventually you’ll be able to handle listening to them again, you may even hear them, remember fondly or not so fondly, but it will be a memory that won’t hurt so much.
  4.   If it’s over completely start seeing other people, meaning dating, as soon as you can.  The attention is just what you need right now, you may not want anyone else right now, but at least you’re trying to start to let go.  You may not want to let go, and  you may think you still have a chance and don’t want to wreck it by what you believe to be “Cheating”.  But the truth is if the other is ready to leave and ready to start anew, you need to also.  If you’re both not, well wait for step 4, but you must stay strong and act like you agree with the breakup.  Stay strong and don’t get weak on step 1, 2, and 3.  You’re preparing yourself with all 3 steps if it doesn’t work out.  It will be easier when it is final.  break-up-4
  5.   Take pictures of yourself having fun, refer to them when you’re starting to feel low, or want to call the other.  Then force yourself to find that fun.  Force yourself into a whole new life, you may surprise yourself at how fast you can get over someone when you start having fun, especially if your past relationship is keeping you unhappy or  stuck not having new adventures.  Everyday you could have a new adventure, it’s finding that right one that makes everyday fun.

Again, if you really want them back, get over them, take back the power you had before you met them.  Even if it hurts act like you want the same thing, room to move on, it will drive the person who thought they had power over you crazy.

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